Wreck This Journal: Tezuka style
by Kizuna Kiseki
Summary: Tezuka's birthday fic of 7/10/2013. In which the ex-captain of Seigaku gets his day messed up by his teammates and chats online with Atobe, Shiraishi and Yukimura. He now obtains an unusual weapon, which might be the ultimatum for getting revenge... Slight OOC and crack.


**Inspired by: My friend's journal, imagining Tezuka losing his cool.**

**Warnings: Slight OOC, shitty English.**

**Rating: T, just to be safe.**

* * *

The moment Tezuka stepped into the courts of Seishun Gakuen, he couldn't help but feel a bit… wary of his surroundings.

Even though the tennis season was over, Tezuka and the regulars have volunteered to coach the next generation regulars until the start of their leaving school examinations.

Despite the fact that he happened to be the earliest to reach the tennis courts, there's something fishy hanging in the air, which he couldn't tell. The stoic captain tried to shrug it off without much success.

'_Don't let your guard down, Kunimit_su,' was how Tezuka told himself to keep calm.

As Tezuka went to unlock the clubroom, came the 'fishy' thing Tezuka had been long wary of.

His ever-eccentric teammates.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TEUZKA BUCHOU!" was their punchline to start the day off while throwing confetti all over the small clubroom.

All 8 regulars wore grins on their faces and Tezuka was a bit shocked when Echizen even arrived early to pull this stunt off.

Wait.

ALL 8 REGULARS ARE GRINNING.

G.R.I.N.N.I.N.G.

Yep, everyone's grinning, including Kaidou and Echizen.

"Tezuka, if you were disturbed about the fact on how we managed to enter the clubroom," Inui started, "we had collected the key from Ryuuzaki-sensei."

The small deformed pin lying innocently at the side of the table begged to differ.

"Anyways Tezuka," Fuji beamed, "it's your birthday today! Why not let's all take a break from practice today?"

For all readers out there, 'slacking' is one thing Tezuka's **bad** at.

"Before I answer Fuji's question…" Tezuka trailed over every regulars' facial expressions once again, "may I ask why is everyone smiling like that?" _It's creeping me out_, but Tezuka didn't voice it out loud.

"We thought that we would celebrate World Smile Day on your birthday instead, since we couldn't do it on the 4th of October," Kikumaru grinned. **(Refer to United Kingdom: Atobe's Empire)**

"And Tezuka," Oishi grinned along with his doubles partner, "would it hurt to just smile on your birthday? It's a joyful thing after all!"

The sudden betrayal from his ex-vice captain caused him to have a sharp pang in the heart.

"Nope, Fuji," Tezuka decided to give a reply to the tensai, "We will NOT be skipping practice today."

Tezuka was about to turn his heels and leave the clubroom when Kawamura had blocked the entrance of the room. He then turned back and his eyes widened a fraction when he saw Echizen holding a very familiar hair shaver (from the match with Atobe at for the Semi-finals). "What are you doing to do with that?" Tezuka asked while trying to keep calm.

"Ex-buchou," Echizen literally purred, "Didn't you know that today is 'Bald and Free' Day? We regulars would like to have our heads shaved (except Oishi-senpai, since he literally has a bald head), but we would still like to have our role model setting the example…"

Kawamura had an apologetic look on his face, clearly showing that he had been threatened to do this. Momoshiro and Kaidou inched closer towards Tezuka, like hungry predators ready to hold down their ex-buchou if he attempts to escape. The Golden Pair watched the entire scene with glee with Fuji recording the whole thing on his newly-bought camera. Inui, who was standing beside the tensai, was busy scribbling words down in his notebook.

Tezuka, who thought that he finally had enough, had miraculously executed his signature move, the **Tezuka Phantom** (even though he himself wasn't holding any rackets nor tennis balls), causing the upper half of the room to crack, sending the 8 regulars flying, all sprawled out on the courts.

Tezuka walked out of the debris with style, holding the cake the regulars prepared for him, before passing out his verdict to them.

"EVERYONE, 1000 LAPS, NOW!"

Though his face didn't really show it, Tezuka's practically on cloud-nine when he has the authority to watch the regulars running laps around the courts, with he himself relaxing under the nice shade, enjoying the mini-cake. He also reminded himself to report to Ryuuzaki-sensei about their now-deformed clubroom.

* * *

_~During the 700__th__ lap~_

"I'm tired, nya~" Kikumaru wailed.

"Eiji, there are only 300 more laps, we can do this," Oishi encouraged.

"But this isn't fair, isn't fair~!" Momoshiro groaned, "a few times when I ran past ex-buchou, he was waving the cake right at my face just to taunt me! I'm getting all hungry now…"

"It's our fault for scaring him like that in the first place," Being the ever nice guy, Kawamura defended Tezuka.

"Taka-san," Fuji started dramatically, "You can't be too soft towards a person. I plan on making him suffer more today."

"Please share your ideas," Inui said while whipping out his note and pen.

"Since we can't get him to shave his head bald, we might as well aim for… there…" Fuji smiled deviously.

"Where?!" came Momoshiro and Kikumaru's reply.

"There," Fuji pointed towards Tezuka's direction. After a few moments, both Momo and the acrobatic player grinned, perfectly understanding what the sadistic tensai meant.

"I shall prepare those things then…" Inui muttered, "the pair I had should fit _there_ perfectly right?"

Kaidou, who had been very hard not trying to hear any of the conversation, shivered when he knew Inui was joining Fuji's 'Let's bully Tezuka' gang. Echizen just muttered a "Mada mada dane".

After running the 1000 (unnecessary) laps, Kaidou approached Tezuka, who was clearing the plate he used for eating the mini-cake. "Buchou, I suggest you better be careful later."

"Hm? What happened?"

"The others looked so ready to torture you in one way or the other…" Kaidou turned to peek at the other regulars.

Tezuka remained speechless for a while. He then thanked Kaidou and went to start the briefing for the tennis club, as it was club activity time. He made a small reminder in the back of his brain to be wary of the other regulars.

* * *

Despite being cautious, Tezuka somehow let his guard down during the second half of his birthday.

People were all asking him is he was ill, or he decided to have a change in fashion sense. Oh please.

It's only the _GLASSES_.

It all started when Oishi claimed that he had the urgent need to use the washroom. After not returning for 20 over minutes, the teacher sent Tezuka to check on Oishi.

So Tezuka went to the toilet and shouted for Oishi's name, but instead gets ambushed by Kikumaru and had his spectacle took off from him. Inui then appeared from behind the cubicle with Oishi.

The data man then held a contact lens case towards Tezuka.

"This is our second gift to you."

Tezuka was about to snatch back his glasses from the acrobatic player when Momoshiro and Kawamura held both of his limbs.

"Don't worry, this pair of contact lens matches your prescription," Inui explained, "so you do not need to worry about it hurting your eyes."

Fuji standing at the side holding the camera isn't really making the situation better.

"Buchou, just start putting those lens into your eyes, if not," Echizen pointed towards Fuji, "that video clip will be uploaded on the net."

Tezuka gave up when he was cornered by his ex-teammates. Not wanting any more trouble, he reluctantly inserted the contact lens into his eyes, with Fuji's help.

His day at school ended with his glasses still being confiscated by Inui.

* * *

After one stressful day, Tezuka was glad that he was able to get away from his ex-teammates before they can let him suffer more headaches. Upon reaching home, he dashed straight to his room's toilet. He managed to grab his extra pair of glasses and slipped them on (after taking much effort to take out the contact lens) to not let his parents notice anything.

Now, in the comfort of his home, he's able to celebrate his birthday normally with his family, eating another birthday cake and chatting about the family's next mountain climbing outing. Tezuka then proceeded to watch "The gluttonous player title" on TV. It's sort of his daily routine. After the show ended, he wrote in his diary about the events which happened today as he waited for his laptop to load.

Little did the regulars know, shortly right after the Nationals, the captains of Seigaku, Hyotei, Rikkai and Shitenhouji exchanged contact information with each other. Now, Tezuka's going online to chat with Atobe, Yukimura and Shiraishi about their team's status report.

**Chatbox**

_-Tezuka Kunimitsu logged in-_

Tezuka then engaged in a video-chat conference with the 3 other fore-mentioned captains.

"Happy birthday, Tezuka!" was the greeting phrase for our birthday boy.

"Thanks," Tezuka bowed a little, "but I don't think I can count today as happy."

"Why?" Yukimura raised his eyebrow, amused.

Tezuka then showed his diary entry for the day for the 3 ex-captains via his laptop's camera. Snickers and laughter can be heard afterwards.

"Seriously!?" Shiraishi was the one who laughed.

Tezuka glared at him.

"My my, what an uneventful birthday," Atobe smirked, "at least Ore-sama had managed to organize a field game with singing at the bar at Kabuki-cho during his birthday."

"But you got defeated by your successor," Yukimura smiled. Atobe then became silent.

"Anyone has any good distressing methods which I can use right now?" Tezuka practically begged while rubbing his temples.

"Yoga!" Shiraishi was the first to reply.

"Drawing?" Yukimura suggested, "Though I prefer prank-calling them in the middle of the night…"

Tezuka decided to reject the idea of prank-calling his ex-teammates.

"Tezuka, since you like to write journal entries so much," Atobe left his seat and came back with a book in his hand, "Ore-sama has decided to give you this as a birthday present."

Tezuka eyed the book suspiciously (through the camera eye).

"I dare to assure you that this book is the best distressing medicine ever!" Atobe's voice rang loud and clear.

Before Tezuka could say anything, he heard a knock at his bedroom's door. His mother came in.

"Kunimitsu, there's a parcel for you here."

After receiving the parcel from his mother, Tezuka sent his mother out of his room before resuming his conversation with the 3 captains.

"Atobe, that was fast," Tezuka saw the logo of the Atobe Cooperation on the mail and he knew Atobe had delivered the book to him via Atobe's personal jet plane (that's how the book can arrive within minutes).

"Atobe, if it's possible, can I have one too?" Yukimura asked, "I think I also want that book as well."

"Okay, I shall give you yours on another day but today's Tezuka's birthday, so Ore-sama decided to hand it to him by all means before midnight strikes," Atobe replied.

"Sure," Yukimura smiled.

After flipping open the book, Tezuka was glad that he had known Atobe as a comrade, even though his hand was previously destroyed by the Hyotei diva months ago.

Shiraishi then asked Tezuka to show him the contents of the book. After briefly viewing some of the pages, he too asked Atobe to order 7 sets for himself.

Atobe only readily agreed while shouting something like "Be awed by Ore-sama's journal book!"

Tezuka then informed the other 3 captains that he wanted to try out the contents in the book before going to bed, so the 3 captains bid him farewell online.

"Be sure to do those things in front of your team!" Shiraishi commented.

"Make them speechless," Atobe smirked.

"Don't forget to share with us your experience!" Yukimura laughed, "Have an early night!"

After shutting down his laptop, Tezuka then looked at the book again, already having plots on getting back at the regulars for 'ruining' his birthday.

* * *

_~The very next day~_

Oishi stood in the courts, colour draining out from his face.

Kaidou, who came after Oishi, also did the same facial expression as his ex-vice captain.

Kawamura, who came along with Fuji to school, also got astonished by the sight beheld right in front of him.

Fuji's closed eyes then became open, revealing sharp blue orbs.

Inui, who came strolling in while scribbling in his book, dropped his pen and book, with his glasses shattered when he saw what the regulars were seeing.

Kikumaru, curious to what everyone was looking at, screamed (in a very manly manner) when he was seeing what they were seeing.

Momoshiro and Echizen, who came in the latest, had their eyeballs almost out of their sockets when they witnessed what their Tezuka-buchou had been doing, with the latter spitting out Ponta in a very .

Said ex-buchou was swinging his racket with his left arm as he smashed the yellow tennis ball…

…right at a very innocent-looking book which is dark-green in colour.

Right after the ball hit the book, the ex-captain then activated the Tezuka Zone, sucking the book into Tezuka's area, and then Tezuka reversed the zone's vector, activating the Tezuka Phantom, sending the dark-green book to crash into the wall at the opposite end of the courts.

Kikumaru and Echizen, both having good eyesight, shivered as they saw the book at the other end of the court.

It was torn and tattered, with quite a number of shredded pages.

'_I didn't know Tezuka was an S (sadistic)… I thought he treasured books very much…_' were all the regulars' thoughts.

Tezuka then went to the other side before picking up his tattered book, walked back to where the regulars were, gave them morning greetings before looping a rope around the book.

Another thought dawned upon the regulars are they watched Tezuka walking the book.

Walking a book. Their ex-buchou. Dragging the book on the ground with a rope.

It wasn't long enough when all the regulars (except Kaidou) began to think that it was their fault for making their ever-stoic captain snap from yesterday's pranks.

Kaidou, however, thought that his ex-captain was finally starting to behave like a normal middle school student, but was over-doing it.

Although it was untold between the regulars, they had decided to vow to never, ever provoke Tezuka unnecessarily on his birthday, ever again.

* * *

**Omake~**

During break time, Inui sneaked into Tezuka's classroom to put back the glasses he got from Tezuka the day before. As he was flipping through Tezuka's bag, he caught sight of the dark-green book which was being abused by Tezuka.

As curiosity kills the cat, Inui took out the book and flipped through the contents, with lots of shredded pages, colour doodles, threads (Inui suspected it's actually hair), a page with dried glue, holes… with a few pages mentioning something like "Take this journal into the shower with you", "Drag your journal around as you walk", "Smash your journal until it cracks" etc.

The book dropped from Inui's hands when he realized what he had been holding. He ran out of the classroom, without bothering to put the book back into Tezuka's bag.

The title of the book is called: WRECK THIS JOURNAL.

**Omake 2~**

Tezuka managed to record every singular regular's reaction with the hidden camera he set up in the courts while he was destroying his newly-obtained journal. He posted the video clip online (with Kaidou's part being cut out, since Kaidou was kind enough to warn him about the other regulars' plot) as he promised Yukimura to 'share his experience'. The day after, all tennis regulars from other schools like Hyotei, Fudomine, Yamabuki, St. Rudolph, Midoriyama and Rikkai watched the clip and added to their favourites list. The video even spread to Shitenhouji and Higa regulars. After a week, this video clip had attained the most number of views for the week with 6,000,000 views, 119982 likes and 6 dislikes (Oishi, Kikumaru, Fuji, Inui, Momoshiro and Echizen).

After watching the video clip Tezuka posted, the regulars decided _not_ to apologize to Tezuka while Fuji regretted deleting the video clip where he recording Tezuka being ambushed in the toilet by the regulars. He decided to never soften his heart against the stoic ex-captain ever again.

The video's title is called **Wreck this journal: Tezuka Style**.  
Video caption: **How to get back at your troublesome teammates while distressing yourself with a book**.

_**END**_

* * *

**Haha, my first attempt in a crack story and second attempt in a PoT birthday fic!**

**The Wreck My Journal book is a real book. You can buy them either in stores or online :D**

**Happy Birthday, Tezuka Kunimitsu! ^^**

**Hoped you had enjoyed this one-shot!**


End file.
